Ouran Blues
by buloy
Summary: The Ouran boys find them themselves unexpectedly becoming "daddies"...to a baby Haruhi.
1. Baby Blues

This came to me in a dream…I think it's a sign, but really I find it weird lol. I mean, does anyone ever dream of themselves being babies?? I did! I was cute! lol Well you guys know the usual drill! Suggestions, advices, criticisms are welcome! :)

**Warning(s):** Extreme MOE-ness, irresistible urge of glomping, hugging, squeezing and cuddling. If symptoms persist, please turn to the next cuddle beanie you have and hold it with you at all times while reading. XDXD

Summary: The Ouran boys find them themselves unexpectedly becoming "daddies"…to a _baby_ Haruhi.

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It was a normal day in Ouran.

Wait…I forgot, _normal_ cannot be used in the same sentence with "Ouran."

Not as long as there was one commoner turned man hosts, and a harem of rich bastards.

Nope, normal did not register in this area, especially in the third music room.

Normal was an anomaly, a definition completely alien and devout to catastrophic and unbelievable means, opposite of its character. We are talking marshland waste of land here, people. The world of the next Pluto in the making.

And Fujioka Haruhi had stumbled as the degenerate human being amongst highly classified aliens.

It had been a gruesome and hectic day. The brunette couldn't figure out where the hell did all those freaking banana peels came from, and she had just to stop short, two mischievous twins from performing a strip dance. (Courtesy of an ensuing fight between who had the hotter bod, why can't they see that they were _twins_, for god's sake!)

Added to that fact, Tamaki had been really edgy around her clients, and by edgy we meant invading privacy and taking resolute post near his "daughter" from possible offered dates…

In which it had her going, "What the hell is wrong with this man?" look, and the casual 'blink-blink-huh' manner that she had inevitably picked up from the start of hosting.

And let's not forget the bane of her existence, the evil shadow cloaked in secret darkness. An association of absolute dictatorship and the devil in glasses himself. Kyouya wasted no time reminding her of "joint-hosting" will not be added to her benefits nor liquefy her debt.

Though from the downside, at least she found a (tiny) gleam of sunshine from Hunny's enthusiastic ardor and cuteness that was always offered with a smile to her. And with it of course was the intimidating yet comforting loom of ever-silent Mori. Short of the miniscule light of sunshine…Hunny, in his excitement of sharing his cake tripped (on a banana peel) and ended up smacking the icy foam goodness in Haruhi's face.

The day couldn't get any worse than all four (two blondes and two red-heads) offering to "clean her up" which had all the cake that just used to be in her face and shoulders…smearing all the way down to her pants.

Way to clean her _down._

At least there weren't any more customers. The brunette shuddered at the possibility of hungry–eyed rich women with their own ways of cleaning "him" up.

To make matters worse she just had to endure a verbal battle with the twins who insisted that she needed a dress…a new _girly_ dress, second in motion by Tamaki.

She couldn't be any happier with Kyouya's interference—

"That suit costs ¥98,000…"

Never mind.

She didn't need to know what those dot-dots entail in the long run, as Kyouya busied himself writing in his black book.

Haruhi glared at the three, and sighed. "I'll just change back in my _normal_ clothes." caramel eyes pinned them another 'don't follow-or-else" glare, specifically at the twins and then at Tamaki who edged near the curtains.

"But-but-but-but--!"

"I can dress myself, sen—" a squishy object came in contact with Haruhi's foot. Her remaining audience followed her mid-step and centered on one…thing.

"Aaaaiiiiiieeeee!!" one blonde and two red-heads later found themselves under a couch.

"B-b-b-b-b-elzeneef!!" Tamaki pointed with a shaking finger, as the twins visibly cowered behind him, holding various blankets over their head.

The brunette looked down her feet and stared, Nekozawa-senpai's favorite stuffed toy-er hand puppet—uh, _weapons_ of darkness gazed back at her in lifeless innocence.

"Haruhi!! Come back to the light!!" Kaoru screamed, motioning for her to camp in their makeshift tent blankets.

"Get away from it!! You will be cursed!" Hikaru hissed in silence with narrowed eyes.

"Oh my wonderful daughter!! You will be—"a gasps left Tamaki at the shrouding shadows behind his daughter.

"Fufufufufu…" in all his black cloaked-glory, the supernatural evil of Ouran came into the light, holding a lamp (under such circumstances in which we could never fathom). "You have fallen into my well-aimed trap!!"

His voice reached an insanely high octave as he raised his arms, bats flying out of it for effect, and cackled in a completely disturbing and deranged manner.

Where was a cat when you need one??

Haruhi, and Kyouya blinked. Hunny yawned and Mori stared him down…the other three began to claw at the nearest door.

"Hmmm…" Kyouya mused out loud. Maybe their next theme should include bats, owls too would be good. He quickly jot them down for future reference while Haruhi oddly looked at him.

"Kyouya-senpai, why do I get the feeling that you're thinking of money again." Haruhi sweat dropped.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." The Shadow King bypassed.

"Fufufufufufu!! Belzeneef shall get revenge!!" Haruhi swore she saw fangs growing out of Nekozawa-senpai. "And you will never find a cure!! NEVER! Fufufufufufufufu!!"

And as dramatic and stealthy as he came, the blonde-haired eosophobic puffed away in a cloud of smoke, leaving said hand puppet and cursed girl to ponder if Nekozawa got into the light again, leaving him delusional and slightly more troubled than last time.

Ah...and the cowards returned.

"You survived!!" both twins popped a confetti in congratulations, Really, they were afraid for there toy's safety.

"Haru-chan!! That was so cool!" Hunny bounced as he clung onto Haruhi's (un-caked) leg for a hug, while Mori patted her head.

"Haruhi!! My daughter!! You're alright!! Daddy's so proud!!" Tamaki was the only one who didn't mind her icing coverage as he moved for a bone-crushing hug.

Kyouya just shook his head, Nekozawa was harmless anyways, no need to get riled up.

Haruhi just shrugged, rolling her eyes at their over dramatic behavior as she picked up the discarded belzeneef on the floor, reminding herself to give the toy back to the harbinger of darkness. You never know when he would just jump outside again to find it…

"It's really nothing to be afraid of," she pushed herself away from numerous tangled limbs on her person, "Can I change now?"

All members parted, some a little more persistent in helping her change but everything went smooth and without any accidents.

The remaining six members waited as they discussed the current abnormal occurrence.

"Mother! Aren't you worried! The prophesied curse for our daughter—"

"Tamaki, it won't happen." Kyouya sighed shrugging off his best friend. He had enough sense to know that such things were whacked out theories. And if Tamaki was going to pull out the book of grim fairy tales on him...he would stangle the blonde.

"But-but! Aren'y you curious? What would be her curse?" the hopeful/curious twins contemplated.

"Haru-chan's not cursed…" Hunny sniffled.

"Ah." His cousin agreed.

"But…" Kaoru tapped his lips with his index finger, "Didn't she took belzeneef with her…" the thoughts trailed off.

'_Oh no…'_

Curse or not…

Six pair of eyes skimmed over the changing room where Haruhi disappeared.

A large, strong poof of white answered in horror.

All members sprinted, as Tamaki yanked the curtains to reveal…

"Achoo! Achoo!" cute choruses of sneezes answered in echo

A tiny little being sniffing as she rubbed her eyes. Adjusting her sight, she looked up. Unmistakable caramel eyes blinked in curiosity as a small gurgle of a smile formed from her icing covered face. too big clothes polled at around her as baby flesh peeked from under the long sleeves. Tiny hands opening and closing, grasping the fabric in attempt to free her appendages as she regarded the various funny looking men in her vision, sticky fingers suspended in the air.

"Eda! Eda!" she bounced cutely, hands grasping thin air.

Tamaki fainted away.

The twins mirrored in shock horror, jaws dropping and eyes popping.

Hunny and the usually composed Mori blinked, rubbing their eyes in bafflement.

"Well," Kyouya pushed his glasses up his nose, "This is a problem…"

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Ahh…isn't she such a cutie!! Reminds me one of my cousins in their baby days..sniffle why did they have to grow up so ugly! JK! lol and soooo! Hope you guys liked the first prologue! I certainly had fun. BTW Haruhi is around 18 months old (a year and six months) in this episode. Because that is the time of ultra cuteness!! I mean, I did work in a daycare so I'd know their behavior, not to mention I baby-sit my cousins. And yes…the Ouran boys will be in for a lot of suffering and fluffs..nyahahah! includes diaper-changing. lol

P.S please vote in my profile concluding the couples of WF. Thank you :).

…I love reviews..-.-


	2. Fainting Blues

I am drunk in love!! (reviews XDXD) Thank you so muches!! Here's a baby Haruhi beanie! Come and buy'em for your reading use! lol

**Warning(s):** See first chapter.

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This was not happening…

The Ouran boys tried hard to convince themselves.

Keyword: _tried_.

Tamaki didn't help the situation much, fainting four times after seeing the Haruhi-turned-baby, as if the lost of consciousness would make everything a dream.

The twins could only stare in awe as they poke the baby like a piece of foreign specimen. Kyouya was troubled over the fact that this baby…this baby was not going to bring profits at all.

It really wasn't working.

It all came down to the most experience bunch of the group, in which Mori had enough sense and currently the one who had working muscles to deposit the baby in the middle of the couch.

All six members lined up in a circle within five foot radius at the assumed harmful and dangerous little pink being; silently (yes _silently_) mulling over at the catastrophe that befell their upright and _righteous_ group.

But Haruhi was the complete epitome of innocence.

A thick crop of fine baby brunette hair atop her head and clung shortly at the nape of her neck, and bangs over her eyes that were swept back smoothly over her forehead. Large caramel eyes added to the adorable effect and cute perky nose above small pink cherub lips. Overall, she was a healthy baby with creamy skin and reasonable milk fat. She had taken solace at her currently coated-caked clothes as she nibbled at the black sleeves, occasionally looking up and mumbling incoherent baby gibberish.

"Eyay! Eyay," she scrunched her face momentarily as she tried to look down her chin, "Ebana, bana!" her fingers squeezed tightly as she fisted the sleeve and brining it to her mouth, completely ignoring her baffled audience.

"Haruhi's goooooone!!" the blonde haired, violet eyed (official) father mourned, as he decidedly tried to keep awake from fainting again. This…this…this abominable, freak of nature turned adorable, cute, sweet, drooling, little charming…

"Haruhi…" Tamaki's eyes glazed over in complete moe-ness at the presented bundle of joy. He turned to his best friend, "Mother!! Look at our child!!"

"Last time I remember you were disgusted with it."

"Do not call it—_It_!!"

"You just did."

"I did not!" the blonde blinked askance.

"Neh, tono! I thought you didn't like her?" Kaoru gave the blonde a raised brow.

"That's impossible! She came from me and mother's loins—"

"Tamaki, please refrain from dragging me into such a position in which I am not willing to take part in." The Shadow King leveled him a stare expressing his slight unease over such a comment from Tamaki.

Heaven knows that he was not a woman…and certainly not a mother nor a wife to this bumbling idiot…and he certainly wouldn't be anytime soon.

Hikaru snickered, "Well tono, it's your dream come true."

"It is!!" Tamaki's eyes glowed as a certain white halo came over his head.

"Don't instigate him, Hikaru." Kyouya glared.

"Hmm…but-but, how do we turn Haru-chan back?" Hunny scrutinized the child, eyes peering over the engrossed baby until her eyes caught his bun-bun.

"Hunny-senpai is right. We have to—"

"Yeene!" the toddler squealed, effectively cutting off the conversation, blinking large eyes and promptly dropping her drooled sleeve. Her hands quickly closing and opening in plea, caramel orbs trained at the fluff of bun-bun in Hunny's back. "Yeene, yeene!"

The question was left in the open as curiosity over the interaction between how Hunny would react with the child aiming for his beloved bunny.

Haruhi didn't waste time getting what she wanted as she shifted from her position to crawl towards the blonde senior who still regarded her in childish wonder. "Yeene, yeene aba baabo teki." She made hand gestures as she moved her head sideways to catch a glimpse of the white bunny

Sensing her wish, Hunny pulled out his bun-bun and grinned widely. "You want bun-bun?"

"Baaaba! Baaba, yeene!" her palms opened and closed in excitement as she tilted forward and capturing the prize tuff of fluff from Hunny's hands. The toddler tumbled back into the couch lazily on her stomach with bun-bun tightly squeezed in her arms as she worked her way chewing off its ears.

The twins began to make a mad search for their cell phone cameras to imprint the precious and absolutely adorable expression.

Hunny squealed in delight as he played with the toddler nuzzling her with his bun-bun's ears. Mori smiling serenely as he sat next to the baby to avoid her from falling off the couch.

Tamaki was crying tears of absolute joy, as he turned to Kyouya with a napkin, the infamous puppy-dog eyes displayed in full blown 'pity-me' stance accompanied with his droop-like ears and quivering lips. He knew it was coming, the downfall of his iron fist as he braced himself to change the inevitable topic at hand.

"Tamaki, we have to find Nekozawa-senpai."

The puppy dog-look intensified, "C-can we keep her??"

Kyouya rubbed his temples. They weren't talking another Antoinette here were they? "You know we can't—"

The whole 'pity-me' look turned to 'pity-us' with a cherry on top, having the twins fanning out behind Tamaki sporting (what would resemble) their best flood of tears. And who wouldn't forget Hunny that came bounding in with the foot scuffling and sniffing that would have all their clients throwing money at them.

The raven head sighed as he closed his eyes. He was an Ootori dammit! Standing up to these idiots shouldn't be too hard. And he was not going to succumb to four _boys_' plea to keep a baby. A _baby_! We are not talking frogs to rabbits here, but a high maintenance and unbeneficial cute pink lump of—

'_Cute?'_ Kyouya shook his head to rid of such traitorous thoughts and blaming it on his younger position in the family, therefore having no other baby sibling.

He will be solid of this decision, "We cannot take care of—"

Mori came bounding in view, Haruhi in his arms as the child was busy chewing on her newly found toy while bouncing in Mori's legs.

Onyx eyes glared at the silent senior that poured chocolate syrup atop the ice cream with cherry over his 'fort of defense', "And here I thought you were supposed to be my ally, Mori-senpai."

The dark-haired senior shrugged.

Feeling eyes on her, Haruhi looked up at the man in front of her and blinked, stopping her momentarily chomping at the poor sodden ears, "Ayey meki tetaa yeene! Yeene amam!" the caramel eyed baby's smile split into a wide grin as cute deep dimples showed, and two white milk teeth protruded from her pink gums holding up bun-bun as if a peace offering and a bribe of millions to the Ootori heir…

In which it inevitably cracked the Shadow King's unyielding resolve.

Everyone held their breaths…

Kyouya pinched the bridge of his nose.

Why, oh why, did he have to take responsibility over a bunch of emotionally-controlled people?? How did this happen? What exactly could they do in caring for a child when five grown-up boys were already hard enough to keep up with?

Then again…the situation couldn't get any worse, and they had no current valuable solutions.

The raven head could only drag his hands over his face in frustration. He was going to add another thousand yen in _her_ debt for this cruelty of masses.

"Alright—"

"YAY!!" Tamaki jumped to give Kyouya a hug with a mumbled "You won't regret it!" while he inwardly rolled his eyes. _'This was a mistake already…'_

The twins gave each other a high five and a "You'll be a great mother Kyouya-senpai!" in which it had the Shadow King's brows twitching. Hunny grinned enthusiastically and hugged Kyouya's leg.

"Kaoru!! Imagine all the flower sundresses she'll wear!!" Hikaru didn't waste time proclaiming the new designs for the baby to his twin, as they sped of creating ideas of the baby's clothes. A seizing opportunity that a child Haruhi cannot deny…

Mori nodded to Kyouya in gratification as the confused toddler blinked and unknowingly clapped her hands together from the obvious joy of the people in the room. "Ayey ita maama!"

"Look! Kyouya! Our daughter's first word is 'maama!'" Tamaki jumped in delight as heart stars swooned over his head.

The Shadow King could only restrain himself from smacking his head on a desk.

"Ne, ne, Kyou-chan?"

Onyx eyes met questioning green ones.

"You'll tell Haru-chan's papa, right??"

Everyone stiffened, somewhere in the room, a pin dropped.

"Eh? What are you talking about, Hunny-senpai? I'm her daddy!" the blonde beamed.

Haruhi gurgled as if mocking the silence, "Ayey!"

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**Ouran Blues: ((Take One)) How Tamaki fainted four times.**

"Kyouya-senpai, how long do we keep fanning this idiot?" the twins sighed in annoyance at their fainted king.

"Until his brain decided to come back." The raven-haired deadpanned, not looking up from his scrutiny of their shrunken member.

"Pfft, that'll take a long time." Hikaru whined.

"Oh! I know!" Hunny bounded to them with a bottle of "medicine," "I always use this in to keep people awake after training." The beam of a smile made the twins shudder of the senior's deadly strength, but complied nonetheless.

With a whiff of the medicine over his nose, the blonde bolted upright.

"Mother I—"

"Abuu!" Haruhi giggled at the man.

Tamaki laid back lifeless on the floor.

Everyone had their brows raised.

"Well…that was interesting." Kyouya pushed his glasses up his nose with an amused smirk.

"Hunny-senpai! Do it again!" Kaoru urged, chuckling excitedly.

Hold. Sniff.

"Oh great days of old!! I've dreamt of—"

"Iita!" the toddler clapped, and Tamaki went off like a light.

"If only he's like that when conscious…"

"I think she likes it."

"I know, and it's making me feel better too."

Hunny held up the medicine over his nose one more time.

"Haruhi my dear daughter!! Daddy is here to—"

"Ayey!" she squeezed her hands tightly in glee as she bounced on her seat.

Tamaki slapped himself back on the cold marble.

"I thought third time's a charm, but this one took the cake." Everyone nodded in assent.

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Well I guess this one's another cliffie lol! But soo…what does everyone thing of Ouran Blues Takes? Should I cut it off? Or do it for viewing pleasure? I had fun writing it! ahahah! And so, much thank you's for the revs! They were really, really helpful and sweet! Just like the next chappie1 What would Ranka think?? And the first night of the boys as daddies, lol I do wonder which house she'll stay in…?? :) :)

…I love reviews…-.-


	3. Naming Blues

**_WANTED_**: Beta reader and back-up muse. Must be serious (but have good sense of humor) and be at least older than 17, have written fics (optional), have a record of at least two years in ff., adept in plots of ouran, inuyasha and bleach, and would like their soul owned by my plushie. Will work for company and Ouran Blues Dedication. Please contact author personally for the job. XD TY!

I watch the Olympics…simply because the guys are HAW-T! :3:). Oh! And of course…U.S.A!! XDXD

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It was either a curse or a blessing.

Of course Haruhi turning into this big, yet tiny pink of mess was the real curse and the blessing couldn't be any more god sent to all the members.

Everyone had counted on Kyouya to take care of everything, to provide logic, support, and the overall backbone of superiority over the club.

But the Shadow King never felt the burden weighing heavily upon his shoulders at the prospect of calling the baby's (real) daddy. He could conjure up so many possible ways to talk things out but he hardly thought—"_Hey Ranka-san, you know you're daughter Haruhi? Of course, she's fine, but do you remember that time when you said she was easier to handle when she was a baby? Well congratulations, you'll get a second chance!"_

Even _he_ was not buying that.

The dark swirling mass of red medusa hair, and blazing fury eyes that would put an angry beast to shame in his mind-frame was enough to give the raven head goose bumps. While Ranka was lenient with him, this matter was different altogether as he had trusted and put him into responsibility of his daughter's well-being.

He didn't know if that counts preventing her from turning into a baby by a strange lunatic that came out of nowhere.

At least it wasn't him…

That aside, while finding Nekozawa-senpai was of utmost importance and should be on the next of things to do… informing an expecting enrage father was more of a priority, that and getting the baby into new clothes.

Besides, he doubt Tamaki would be able to deliver the news himself as he had offered. The relationship between the pseudo father and the biological one runs deep like a torrent of raging river…and it was not mending up anytime soon. So instead of sending his friend to suicide in which he had proclaimed:

"_Kyouya! Mon ami! Let me call daddy for this joyous news! Oh he would be so thrilled!!"_

…thrilled enough to kill the blonde, that was for sure.

The Shadow King used Haruhi as a distraction as he pointed to where the twins were already "corrupting" (just so he could spur him to action faster) the toddler, and was greatly relieved as he sprinted away like a dog catching a frisbee.

Returning to his task at hand, the raven head flipped over his phone, pointedly ignoring the members to tend after the child, as his eyes skimmed over a new voice message and raised a brow.

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The baby blinked at the two identical boys before her, bun-bun's wet ears forgotten as she settled it on her lap, large caramel eyes trained on the new people. "Ibii anna atami."

She tilted her head to look up blinking at Mori with her tiny back to him, giving the child support from her wobbling seat. For some reason, the baby became quickly attached (much to Tamaki's chagrin) to the silent senior, and instantly took a liking to Hunny too.

Her small index finger pointed towards the two, as the other clutched bun-bun tighter, as if asking him if she could play. "Ayeem meki atta ayee."

The senior nodded as if in understanding the nonsensical query of the toddler.

"Haruhi!!" Hikaru put his face closer, "Do you like a yellow silk dress?"

"No, no!" Kaoru put an arm around his brother and planted his face near the toddler as the baby pulled back in surprise. "She likes frilly pink ones, I tell you!"

The sudden outburst scared the brunette as she pressed bun-bun in her face and whimpered, almost falling off of Mori's lap as she attempted to roll on her back again. Nuzzling the stuffed animal she sniffed, eying the newcomers warily, and tightening her grip on her toy, as if not wanting to play with them anymore.

Hunny watching the interaction and the twins' crestfallen faces (if there pouts were any clear indication) bounded in a hurry, "Ne! Kao-chan, Hika-chan! Why don't you tell her your names first?"

"Eh?" twin red-heads looked bemused at the green-eyed senior and back to the baby with puzzling faces.

"Just tell her your name!" Hunny smiled encouragingly, "Maybe she'll say it—"

Two red heads dove at a considerable distance in front of the baby. Knowing that Haruhi had always been wary of strangers, (what more as a child?) the twins switched their approaching tactics to something more fitting to endear the child to them.

Caramel eyes blinked, bun-bun over her face, while peeking at them almost shyly, squeezing her own defense tight in her arms, the ears flopping and shading her forehead while the arms effectively puffed her rosy cheeks from the pressure of her grip.

"Hi, Haruhi-chan," Kaoru cooed, using a softer voice and a blithe smile, "Can you say, Kao-ru." The younger twin punctuated while pointing to himself. "Kao-ru."

Lowering her toy she peered out of bun-bun's ears, eyes trained on his fiery red hair. "…Awuu."

"No, no, no, _Kao-ru_."

"Awuu!" the baby squealed, hands reaching up to the surprised twin, wariness gone in preference to her newfound toy.

"E-eh??" balked at the appalling nickname and the sudden interest of the child, Kaoru leaned back in bemusement.

"I think she wants you to hold her." Mori blinked up at the younger twin.

"Aww! That's unfair!" Hikaru pouted as the toddler was gently place on Kaoru's lap, bun-bun held tightly on her side while she bounced on his leg, trying to reach his bright hair.

"Tell her your name Hika-chan!" Hunny urged, giggling as the toddler incidentally slapped "Awuu's" face, trying to grasp a lock of his hair, as the red-head tried his best to keep the baby from falling out of his lap, awkwardly smiling, yet didn't miss the warm feeling of a baby in his arms.

Haruhi was never the touchy type, so this feeling of being touched and explored by her baby form was amusing...if not, cute.

"Alright!" Hikaru turned to his brother and gently prodded bun-bun from the baby's grip to catch her attention. Predictably enough, her hold tightened, momentarily distracted the baby as large caramel eyes turned and blinked in confusion at the same-looking person. "Awuu?"

"Nope, nope!" Hikaru grinned. "Hi-ka-ru." he jammed a thumb on his chest, and slowly repeated his name, "_Hi-ka-ru_."

Haruhi blinked and looked up at Kaoru, "Awuu natte teeki deda." Then back at Hikaru with a pointed finger. "Awuu ayey nene?"

"No, I'm Kaoru." The younger red head pointed to himself, "That's Hikaru, he's my gorgeous twin brother."

"Yep! That's right Haruhi!" Hikaru nodded with a large smile, "I'm Hi-ka-ru."

The toddler pursed her lips at the amount of sounds and syllables it sounded but nodded as if contemplating eyes blinking up on his shock of red hair. "…Ikawu."

"That's right!" Hunny clapped while Haruhi rejoiced at the new name, the twins could only sigh in defeat at their attempts to save their massacred names.

But for once oddly enough, the twins usual mischief was not present. Whether it was by distraction or not, they just couldn't argue against an adorable and innocent response of a child now could they?

"Awuu eta Ikawu babi edaa toki," Haruhi managed between her head turning from side-to-side and settled the elder red head. She grinned up at him and fisted her hands in delight as she held up bun-bun in offering of her new found friends.

"Baaba, ayey dede ibaa meki."

"That's so sweet!" Kaoru couldn't contain the tears of joy (from absolute cuteness) of the baby as he nuzzled her face just like before.

Hikaru bent lower to mimic his brothers' actions and rubbing the rosy cheeks, not minding the patches of drool and cake in preference to imprint themselves with the baby's cuteness.

Mori and Hunny stood in contentment, knowing keeping the baby was a good decision.

And much to the toddler's delight, her distraction paid off as she quickly took hold of Hikaru's red locks in a tight grip and began pulling at it with vigor.

"Oww! Dammit! Her grimy hands are ripping my hair! Kaoru get her off!" Hikaru whined as Haruhi giggled in response, fingering the loose hair and patting its softness, fisting a handful as she was ready to put it in her mouth for a taste—

"Halt! You fiends!!" Tamaki came bounding in view disentangling the baby's grip from Hikaru's hair none too gently and swiping the surprised Haruhi in his arms. "How dare you doppelgangers manipulate my innocent—"

Haruhi squirmed in his arms, looking up at the new intruder with alarm…

…and promptly cried.

First it was just an uncomfortable wiggle, then it turned to a full-blown blubber as she turned away from him, hands reaching towards Mori.

"Way to go, tono." Hikaru glared at him as they patted the baby's back.

Mori instantly took the baby from Tamaki's limp grasp and made soothing circles in her shoulder as the toddler hiccupped, clutching on her bun-bun and stuffing herself deep into its fluffiness.

"But-but-but--!"

"Apparently, Haruhi doesn't like you in her baby form either." Kaoru added more salt on the wound.

The blonde instantly went to his corner and planted his infamous mushrooms, complete with a straw hat and a white sarong to cover his face. The complete and utter rejection of his _baby_ daughter had stabbed him painfully in the heart in more ways than one, leaving him speechless and immobile to form his (suddenly) patch of ground with mushrooms.

"Aww! It's okay Tama-chan!" Hunny tried to console the baby-snatcher (as the twins had dubbed) and patted his head. "I'm sure Haru-chibi was just scared! She'd like it if you tell her your name first!"

"Re-re-really?" a light of hope bubbled from his darkened cloud as Tamaki wiped his hands free of dirt.

"Uh-huh!" green eyes agreed, as he bobbed his head.

"Oh thank you, Hunny-senpai! With you by my side I can defeat those evil devils!!"

The twins raspberried back and chorused, "Haruhi doesn't like you!!"

"Preposterous! As her father she had inherited the same traits as I!!" and the king was revived—"She had fair, milky skin! Dark swirling orbs of chocolate, cute baby lips, luscious, soft hair! All the fine qualities of a Tamaki Jr.!!"

Oh, oh yeah—glitters showered and roses dotted every corner of the room as light enhancements and invisible billowing wind featured his declaration.

…

"…Kadee itta neene…" the toddler looked at the man in wonder, fervently clutching to Mori.

"Yeah, he's an idiot, alright." Hikaru nodded.

A sharp click of a phone shutting effectively cut off everyone's current hullabaloo and turned to the person in question. And from the looks of it…it can't be good.

Kyouya Ootori could not determine whether it was a curse or a blessing…

…They were doomed either way.

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**:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

* * *

**Ouran Blues ((Take Two)): Naming Daddies**

Putting the baby back on the couch as they all arranged in a circle, the boys started to get their names straight from the baby.

"Okay, Haruhi! Say _haa-nee._" The blonde senior uttered his name slowly, waving bun-bun in his hands as a price.

"…anee." The baby gurgled.

"Alright! Now say: _Kao-ru._"

She scrunched her face momentarily, "Awuu…"

"Good! Good!" she eyed the stuffed rabbit, "Okay, now say: Hi-ka-ru."

"Inee, neba taki ayey!" she pouted, reaching up for bun-bun.

"No, no, say _Hi-ka-ru_, first!"

Knowing that she won't get her price as long as she didn't know what they asked of her, the toddler complied, "Ikawu."

"Next! Say Takashi's name!!" Hunny squealed as the baby sputtered at the name.

"Mori." The dark-haired senior offered as the baby blinked up at him and smiled. "Mowee."

"My lovely daughter!! Expressing such ingenuity and progress!" Tamaki beamed, "Mother! Our child truly had been born combined with our beauty and sharp mind!"

"Leave me out of this, Tamaki."

"Very well! You shall call me, daddy and," the blonde tugged the raven head forward, "And this is mommy!"

Kyouya glared at him.

"Taki!" Haruhi clapped, then turning owlish caramel eyes to the Shadow King, "Mammi!"

The temperature in the room dropped, and an evil shadow took over Kyouya's aura.

"Taki abba boo yatte mammi!"

The twins quickly ran for the nearest exit, while Mori took the baby and his cousin to a safe distance.

"Kyouya! She said 'mommy!'" the oblivious idiot grinned at his own grave.

"As I heard." glacier and snow filled the raven head's tone.

Someone was going to die tonight.

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Ahh…poor, poor Kyou-chan! XD just a dose of revenge on his part giving little Haru-chan debts nyahahah I am too evil for this! I'm sorry if you guys were expecting Ranka and the decision of which house Haru-baby will stay in, but I promise that all will be answered in the next chappie! (hopefully)! And babies…have really hard time saying their '**r**'s.' It's twue! Whoops! XDXD BTW any of you sees/kag fans, I got a new fic post up, so come and check it out too!:) :3

…I love reviews…-.-


	4. Kyouya's Blues

Nyarrr…I'm gonna go get my stuffed whale!!

**Warnings**: Got get your beanies, people!! And for some of you, have an oxygen tank nearby! XD

Ahem, since there had been questions as to what Haru-chibi is saying…IT DOESN'T MEAN A THING! Babies are an incoherent drool of mess, understanding them is like, like…talking to wall…a very cute, and amusing wall that could very well eat anything out of your hand. XDXD

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**:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

* * *

Message received: Friday 1:33 PM—

-beep.

"_Kyouyaaaaa-kuuuuuun!! Oh dear! I forgot! You must be studying hard at school right now, and I do apologize for this disturbance, but I must ask you a big favor! Well, it's not entirely big, but you know I don't think it would be that hard! (girlish giggle) Anyways! While I am forever in your debt for giving me passport, I've never really used it…until now! Can you believe it!? Our okama is going on a free trip to Las Vegas in America for two months!! Ohohohoho what luck and great joy! I wonder what gorgeous blonde and blue-eyed men look like!? Ohohohoho! But tell my dear Haruhi that it is mainly vacation and business and not pleasure visits! I do hear of the saying: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas! Ohohoho what a catchy phrase!! And so please take good care of my daughter! I don't want her fraternizing with that idiot! Detain him from my pure child! I will not—"_

-beep: end message.

Saved message received: Friday 1:40 PM—

-beep.

"_Oh goodness! Why do these inferior phones have such ridiculously short voice message minutes!? Anyways! Kyouya-kuuuuun! I'm counting on you to take care of my daughter! (voice drops to a masculine tone) I. Trust. No Harm. Will. Be. Put. To. Her. But other than that, have fun and make sure you guys help my dear Haru-chaaan! I will bring a lot of souvenirs! I'll call once a week to check up on Haru-chan as best I can!! Tell her I love her!! Ciao!"_

Kyouya Ootori, dubbed Shadow King, AB blood type, low blood pressure lord, heir to the one of the riches companies in the world and best friend to a lowly idiot…decided that it was a _curse._

Oh, oh no. The curse did not just settle with Haruhi, but extended all of them in different levels.

Especially him.

Lucky, lucky him.

After the silence, various outbursts and reactions sprang forth in either surprised, giddiness, and curiosity of the new situation they had been thrusts into. Oddly enough…no one was truly pinpointing the problem of the mess they've just trapped themselves into. Except for him. Him who saw the blanket of darkness and karma the baby could cause, behind those large eyes, round face, and overall cloud of cuteness.

He will not be fooled!

"Las Vegas!?"

"Two months!?"

"My unsupervised daughter!"

"Haru-chan's papa's away?"

"Ah."

Kyouya sighed and rubbed his temples. No, no one was aware of his misery and their impending doom that had clouded their judgments.

"Itteki baabo eda agee!"

He glared at the baby as she withered almost instinctively at his rather sudden bout of anger and frustration that needed to be vent.

Of course, she just had to suck out all the fun of him trying to snide by a few quips of debts in her total, but seeing that she's the uncaring, "innocent" baby…the Glare of (financial) Doom was lost to the pink being of destruction.

"So! Haru-chibi's dad's away, eh…?"

Kyouya could see telltales of demon heritage when he hears that lilting question on the elder Hitachiin's tone.

"And she's turned chibi mode too…"

The rubbing of (evil) palms was easily overheard as Tamaki came to the baby's (unneeded) rescue.

"Oh! My gorgeous baby daughter!" He settled by rubbing his cheeks against hers, "Fear not for pseudo-daddy is here!! And I will buy you gifts fit for a princess! You doppelgangers! Stay away from my child, for I will not have her wearing unbranded clothesline!"

"Speak for yourself, tono! Only the finest china silk will grace our little baby toy!"

"Hmph! We're gonna have better imported clothes product that you'll ever have on Haru-chibi, fashion noob!"

"I am not!"

The three argued heatedly in the manner befitting of crazy, impotent aunties--turned cat ladies. Haruhi yawned at their antics, rubbing her face sleepily at Mori's chest, one hand clutching the bunny fervently as the other rubbed at her eyes.

"Haru-chan would look so cute on my old baby hakama clothes, ne Takashi?" Hunny beamed, jumping up and down at the prospect of giving the baby early martial arts lessons.

"Ah." Mori consented, keeping his cool façade while visualizing the brunette haired baby doing katas with his blonde cousin…it would be a spectacularly adorable sight to see. Of course he'd be there to keep the baby safe too.

Kyouya was being ignored.

It was what he hated the most.

And what he hated the most than being ignored…was being ignored _with_ a problem without anyone willing to "help" him.

A problem by which all the members put up a laissez-faire attitude and for him to take care of all the rest while they gallivant around with the unbeneficial pink monster.

Not that he needed help on the matter, seeing the members would do more damage than good…But…he really wasn't adverse with the thought of taking care of a baby.

His forte were numbers, graphics, lines, logic and business…not frilly dresses, pacifiers, diapers and the all around headache of "raising" a baby.

In conclusion…having an unplanned baby presented in their lap, was in short, not in the list of the Shadow King's agenda—hell this one doesn't even have a memorandum! It's basically having six (rich and rather irresponsible) teenage boys taking care of a girl—turned pint-sized brat, left in their _hand..._by which none of them even had a doll to play with in their childhood to merit any experience! (maybe except Hunny, but that's besides the point).

And no one seems to see the greater logic of how them (i.e: rich, lazy, never-worked-a-dime-in-their-life, unaccustomed to commoner manners, impulsive and decidedly spoiled to the core) could ever take care of a baby that sprouted out of nowhere and seemingly now in their hands of "protection."

Make that in the hands of…_six teenage males_.

Well I don't know about you, but society does prove nature right in the aspect of man and woman regarding reproduction, and the Shadow King doubted the reason of "Nekozawa-senpai's belzeenef turned Haruhi into a baby and her father is away, and now he have to take care of her" excuse—will not be bought.

Ever.

Unless he's willing to assign one of the members into the asylum, or have enough time to capture the insane perpetrator/cult-maker himself then they could get out of it "safely." But for now, Haru-chibi's existence should be, at most, best kept a secret.

Especially to the general public…if they ever found out that all six _men_ were taking care of a baby without the…—well, let's just say it will raise a helluva lot of eyebrows.

—The raven head shuddered at the mere thought.

It was as good as revealing that Haruhi –_is_- a girl to the whole female population…whom would suffer severe heartaches and the potential loss of their benefits and supporters for their supposed "betrayal of genders."

And practically all members had ignored, or rather left this brooding matter to the Shadow King…

Kyouya really wanted to bang his head somewhere.

"Tamaki—"

"Impossible! She shall be named Josephine!! Josephine of the great Napolean Bonaparte's wife!!"

"Noo!! I wanna name her Yuki! Yuki!! Oh cute, little, white tuff of snow!"

"Yuki's overrated! I wanna call her Sakura!"

"Can we name her Bun-bun II??"

"…"

"Naaba atta keebi…"

"Ah."

The raven head didn't know whether to intervene or…just fly himself to India and avoid this ever happened. _'It will save me the headache of taking care of the baby...'_

"Josephine Tamaki Valerie Suoh Jr.!!"

Kyouya sweat-dropped. _"…and them."_

Ah yes, maybe some temptation island would do him good—

"Mother--!"

'…_So close…'_

"What do you think of Haruhi's new name!?"

"Tamaki, it would be best and _legal _that you keep Haruhi's name as is. Besides, she isn't your legitimate child, nor can you update her birth certificate to suit your wants for a different name." onyx eyes pinned with violet orbs, as he was too tired to go into detail or rather Tamaki's underhanded means to getting him into a stupid naming game of "their child."

This was really, really turning out to be some freakishly real playhouse…

One the Shadow King wasn't too thrilled in participating.

"You're right!! I would never change my Haru-chan for such a name!" the blonde consented quickly, rubbing the baby's back.

"Hah! You were the one who was so adamant about it earlier! And it's not like Haru-chan would like you to call her that, seeing that she doesn't like you anyways." Hikaru grinned devilishly at their tono, while rubbing his nose at the baby's shoulders.

"My baby daughter admires me! She would've loved that name!" the blonde huffed indignantly.

Kyouya raised a brow at that. "Sometimes…your ignorance can _be_ a bliss."

"Pshaw, tono your not even in her buddy list. I bet she doesn't have you on her tea party invitations either," Kaoru added shrewdly, using his hair as bait while the brunette giggled at the wiggling tuff of red locks, absently rubbing at her eyes.

"Tea party?" Hunny asked hopefully.

"You're in." Mori assured.

"That's not true! I'm gonna take my baby shopping!" Tamaki pointed an accusing finger at the twins in righteous fury of not being invited to their tea party…only schemed by the redheads just to ire the blonde.

"We're gonna feed her authentic Italian food made by Luigi!"

"I shall buy her a platinum mansion playhouse!"

"We'll rack her room chock full of clothes!"

"I'll have her sleep in a pile of a thousand Kuma-chans!"

"But neeeeeehhh!" Hunny cut in, "I think Haru-chibi would like all that…but, where will she sleep?" The loli-shota pointed at the heavily asleep brunette dozing comfortably in Mori's arms, bun-bun pressed to her cheek, and one fisted hand over her chin, as she cutely nuzzled deeper into Mori's chest sighing in contentment.

"Kawaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!—"

A glare and a finger to his lips silenced the trio of Mori's uncharacteristically paternal instinct.

"Where can we put Haru-chibi to sleep tonight?" Hunny bit his lip in a contemplative manner, presenting one of the most _relevant_ and shocking questions yet.

"Oh…Well…" the three chorused…but all pairs of eyes narrowed down to Kyouya for guidance.

Lines of distress visibly covered his face. Besides…he's the only one who had a separate mansion.

"Don't tell me…"

**:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

**Ouran Blues ((Take Three)): A Deliverer's Curiosity…Satiated??**

"Alright, this is the last of the 20 delivered items, Ootori-sama." The deliverer announced proudly as he tucked in his hat, giving the Shadow King in front of him the paperwork.

It was really odd that the young man had specifically ordered imported furniture and whatnots…strange part was…they were all baby stuffs.

"Ah. Are they all settled in the spare room?" the raven head didn't bother looking up as he checked all the requisites of the delivery.

"Hai. Though if it's not too much, may I inquire what the stuff is for—er I mean, I've delivered stuff in here before, Ootori-sama and um…" the stout deliverer began to fidget as Kyouya took a pause in his writings, closely giving attention to the man. The balding, stout guy wished he never asked as sweat came down his forehead, but it was too late…and he was just curious. Nothing wrong with that, right?

"I-it's ju-just that I don't see any kids a-around here before a-and…er—" the unnerving stare told him he'd dug a grave deep enough for five people.

After a millennia of intense scrutiny (actually Kyouya was thinking of a story or excuse to conjure) the raven head snapped his head down and proceeded to write off his signature, and with conviction, uttered: "Advanced Biological Science Project."

"A-aah. Th-that's great! " The balding deliverer breathe a sigh of either relief or impress (though he still didn't get why they needed baby stuffs for a project) but either way, anything to get those piercing onyx eyes off—

"_Mother_!!" a manly squeal rang out of the gates as a tall…very blonde, and very much a man came out waving at the door for the Ootori heir. "You have to look at our daughter's crib! It's soooo kawaaaiiiii!"

The pen cleanly snapped in half.

The deliverer's jaw hit the ground.

"I knew you'd ordered the one with white, silk frills and Victorian curtains! It's absolutely a gorgeous fit for our princess! Oh Daddy is so proud! Mother let's decorate it together!!"

…

This is a situation where any comments are not needed, unfortunately for the poor deliverer—he was a common talker.

"…S-some project," the stout man sweat-dropped profusely, "huh?"

Kyouya quickly snapped the folder, rightfully scaring the hell out of the man.

"Yes. Now excuse me, while I…tend to the child's _father_."

The black shadows and evil, furious aura trailed after his footsteps back to the mansion as the deliverer noted to himself:

_Never_ ask an Ootori about their personal life.

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Ahhh…my poor, dearest Kyou-kins XD Well I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! It certainly took me sometime to write, but please, fear not! Ouran Blues still has some long cute moments to go! But oooohhh! I smell like baby powder and apples XD Hmm…maybe some twins-time feeding Haru-chibi is a good note, eh? ;) :3

Thanks and loves to the reviews and readers! --haru-chibi hug-- Until next chappie!

…I love reviews…-.-


	5. Author's Blues

Alriiighty! I have absolutely no bloody excuse for the extremely outdated wait, that I was surprise reviews kept coming for this fic and truly, I am touched (from you guys' enthusiastic reviews) and shamefully guilty at my lack of actions regarding this fic.

I will now accept the throwing of stones, thank you.

Truly I had been thinking about writing, oh...like three bloody years ago when I found out I'm having a nephew. Yes, yes, thank you. :D He is a definite cutie at 16mos and is now making me incredibly weak-kneed with just one nonsense garble from him, or just shower him with my wallet's content (read: play money). Honestly, my nephew could make a living out of being extremely cute, and I'm not saying this because ya know, cuteness just _overflows_ from our genes (really inflates my ego indirectly xD), but he's just the little tyke of fluffy mischief I've always wanted from a nephew. I have a niece as well, but she had outgrown her cuteness, sad to speak. -.- And her then childish gibber has turned against me in every way we meet each other...It's sad that I don't even look like an adult...I don't even act like one when I'm around her. Yes, woe for the youngest child.

And no, snippy, sarcastic and tongue-flying attitude does _not_ come from our side of the family! ...I think.

She's still a lovable lil' monster though.

And another great news! And sadly terrifying for my wallet.

I have another nephew on the way! Hurrah!

Not only now do I need to buy one for the other...I have three of them milking my meager income and they're not even teenagers. Ugh. Someone donate? xP

In all honesty, I've liked baby boys more than girls. Or maybe my niece had just traumatize my nights from screaming like a little hellion and babysitting her from the wee age of a month.

My lil' nephew, however, was a lot more calmer, more easier to settle down and he doesn't even need to change diapers every two hours! Ok...not like I do that to him, he's hard to change (and he pees projectile style, ok)! And, I totally change him every three hours at least whenever he comes over to sleepover with us. The only downside is he has a lot of allergies and his milk are flippin' expensive. How can he drink goat's milk when I can't even eat goat cheese! Unfair, I tell you!

Anywaaays! You guys should thank my lil' nephew cuz starting or rather before Feb. ends or the start of March I'll post up the real chapter. I just need to research (aka: babysit) my nephew a bit more.

I do welcome any suggestions, and to prevent myself from going off into a three year hiatus...it would be real nice if you guys have any suggestions? Any parent or poor aunt/uncle out there willing to give out their thoughts/experience on their monst-er, lovely children, would certainly be of great help.:) Or heck just anyone who had a heart melting scene with a random kid would be an awesome MOE moment.

In fact, I was thinking for every chapter I'd at least have the poor Ouran daddy figures have a bit of alone time with little Haruhi...with of course still tying up the little plots to the story.

My nephew's a great reference and all, but he's so manly, he destroys my neatly stack make up just to giggle as they topple off and scatter my really expensive powder. I'm still crying over it. T-T Anyways! I like baby girls just as much since...heck they're a lot more fun to dress up, quite frankly. My nephew just get onesies and pjs that lack taste, but still looked terribly cute on him..._boys_.

But I really am grateful to all you guys who have reviewed and faved this story so far! I am really thankful that you are all so encouraging and I promise to get the coming chapter out soon. Seriously. I mean, I even give you guys permission to endlessly annoy me through PMs. :D

Much love and hugs! :3

-buloy


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